🎄Christmas🎁M>A>S>H>U>P🍺Chasers!💗..x
{25.12.23} Mixed Media & Topics: A Dog's Life - Dare To Dream In Wankerland - Confessional- TOP 7 TIPS🤍
If you like your newsletters without politics or preconceptions or seeking a break from the norm you may have just found your new hangout
Merry Greetings to… All my Christmas Chasers!💗
1. Doggy Updates Ahead… Bon Voyage! .x.x.x.x.x.x.x
It’s been a while since I’ve heard from me, no that’s not a typo error. I’m serious. The little annoying inner voice that’s full of fizz and mix ups, whether it be ideas for writing, criticisms, illuminated regrets, omissions and and subconscious embarrassment *cringe” all the good stuff that generally hounds my head and keeps me up at night - has all but vanished and in its place, I have become Doctor Do-little, Granny Smith (yes I know that’s an apple but go with me on this) and a cross between, you guessed it - Mrs. Doubtfire and Mary Fucking Poppins. In the manner of speaking regarding how dog broody I am feeling, momma bear type fierce… and all this coming from a child-free old spinster who wouldn’t wish themselves to be in charge of a toddlers tea-party as the crazy drunken aunt woman nevermind fancying myself to be a new and improved SuperMom! (We say Mum in the UK but I had an image of Serial Mom in my mind at the time of typing this down). I am head over paws in love with my naughty little dog Lola. I am a REAL MUMMY (not just for the pervs now biatch!)..a miracle!! x
I guess if you stuck with me during that failed attempt at a humorous analogy, then that’s two of us cornered and fucked - and not in the way we’d like it! I couldn’t hit the right notes with this because my head went west when I almost wrote Eliza Doolittle, not knowing if the singer/songwriter and girl in the book (the one I’ve never read!) does or doesn’t like animals at all. I am typing this quickly to get it out before I go to bed tonight - it is now 1:00AM (UK) on Christmas Eve so I would like to have already wished everybody a very merry xmas by the 25th December 2023.
“HERE’S TO ALL OF YOU CRAZY CHASERS WHO ARE HIGHLY LIKELY TO HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS”
IF ON THE OTHER HAND YOU’RE MORE LIKE ME THEN I WISH YOU ALL PEACE< HEALTH< & HAPPINESS (at the very least) ALSO WISHING YOU ALL GOOD COMPANY. MOSTLY A DOG!
All I wanted to say was that I am bowled over by this task of being a mummy again (granted I get the easier role because my baby has a wagging tail that gives me a clue they’re happy!) I can’t imagine figuring out how to put a human baby together. It’d be like Expensive Chinese flatpack furniture arriving by stalk on my doorstep and me unwrapping, probably damaging during the process and building this baby human up into something similar to what you’d end up with from a dodgy shop via the infamous Wish App.
I am still kinda attempting to describe how much my heart has fallen truly in love with this little puppy-baby girl and now I feel like Mother of the Universe once again. It’s been a while since our first ‘baby-girl’ Tia, who died at the ripe old age of 12 in dog years and who we had raised since she had been 6 months old. There had been no training required. Tia was always an old soul enjoying life in her beautiful fur body and she is still and always will be sadly, sadly missed but joyously remembered.
Lola our latest little lady now is nearly 5 months old and she is everything a young puppy usually would be.. She’s curious, mischievous, loving, affectionate, strong, clumsy and utterly utterly too cute to express. The other difference is that I have been given the rewarding opportunity to raise and train her all by myself for the next (estimated length of time unknown) few weeks or so because my unlawful husband has important family duties to tend to. I mentioned this in many of my previous newsletters here at JustClinginOn. If you haven’t signed up for emails already and would like to do so - I’d love to have you here with me - feel free to hit the free subscribe button. C’mon in I won’t bite! x
I wrote an awesome introductory poem about Lola and I for the life of us cannot read my own handwriting to transcribe here with you tonight and because I’ve already emptied my brain on the page I can’t go back and retrace my steps or sit down to try again. I need more training than Lola in that department.
Anyway, I didn’t come here to just gush over my dog and her relentlessly tired mummy all night. I came hear to think about how quiet it has been for me this year, not only in my head because my head is now filled with mummy stuff. I’m joking. I’m just obsessed with being a good caring, good loving, good parent to this beautiful puppy. It freaks me out that my mind seems to have gone blank now. Is that what happens to your dreams when you give birth or adopt a baby person, pet or pot plant? My mind is mush now. I don’t even speak the same language anymore either! Well, I do but in a lisp and with the baby voice that I imagine Lola likes to hear. I don’t only imagine her approval, I talk for her too, also like a baby. It’s completely out of character for me to be so doting… or is it? I’m not entirely sure! ahahaahahhah
2. Who Is She!?..and, What Is She To You?
I’m talking to myself and about myself - isn’t that what we’re all doing here? Typing out lines of self confession, observation or the really hardcore stuff like - ‘Here’s My TOP 5 Tips To HELP YOU STOP Itching Your Cock When You Write About It’ that kind of thing. I often hope that one day I will indeed be capable of offering such advice to others.. maybe not that example, clearly not, but anything at all to offer others and make myself feel useful. In the meantime all I have is existential question after existential question, it’s like Little House On The Prairie meets An Interview With a Vampire. Again, my analogies tonight fucking suck! The other night I was pondering on my feelings of love aimed toward a muse of sorts, one I cannot ever get under and will not ever get over. I was having all these experimental conversations with him in my mind most of the night, meanwhile back in dramaland (my real boyfriend’s life) he was absolutely mortal drunk, smashed, shitfaced, anything you want to call it. Battered, wasted, carnaged… you name it he’d drink to it. He called me on video call in the middle of the night (it wasn’t that late. About 1.30AM - exactly 1.30AM because I remember) just called to say he loves me.
If that wasn’t reason for me to feel guilty about my thinking enough then what happened whilst I was sleeping later on absolutely shook me to the bone. I have been getting out of bed earlier each morning because I am a responsible puppy owner, cough, cough, *breathes on knuckles and polishes them on breast* yes, I have been up in the dark mornings before 6 am even on some days, mostly before 8AM so I guess I should take my trophy fist back and put it away in the cupboard for now. I’m proud of myself. I woke up as usual and waiting until 9am to ring and wake him up. Turns out he had already woken earlier that morning. He had woken in a daze, sitting upright on the sofa where he is staying, he should have been in the bedroom there so first mistake.
Second, he doesn’t remember falling asleep, getting there, or talking to me that night either. He had obviously been so evidently twisted that he had probably actually blacked out. He almost blacked the entire fucking street out too. There was tonnes of smoke billowing out of the kitchen and all he was thinking about was how he got there at that time in the morning (about 6am) and that he was hungry and could smell burning or smoke or something. He was still pissed up and didn’t quite know what what going on. He soon found out that the night before at about midnight he threw a frozen pizza into the oven and banged up the heat to cook it quicker. He was meant to be keeping an eye on it but then he’d phoned me! Five fucking hours that pizza was ‘cooking’ for! five hours. Five hours is about the same amount of time I had put into thinking about the muse to amuse myself.
I could have lost my fucking ‘husband’ I could have lost the love of my life that night. Where was I? I was in my own kind of land,,, absolute wanker-land. fantasy-fuck- up-land. I am quintessentially, guilt ridden. It has put things back into perspective for me now. I never forget how much hubby means to me, I never stop loving him or take his love forgranted. I just smear mine a layer thinner when spreading it about on the internet inside the server of my mind. It’s because the reality of the bad dynamics in our relationship, outweigh’s the good in brain space. I hate to occupy any part of me with 100% negativity. So, I dare to dream.
3. HOLD MY BEER… HOW ABOUT MY TOP & TIPS:
Here is a powerful but simple seven-step method for setting and achieving goals that I have learned over the years:
First, dare to dream and decide exactly what you want. Clarity is the starting point of great success.
Second, write it down, in detail, and set a deadline. Set sub-deadlines if necessary.
Third, determine the additional knowledge, skills, and abilities you will need to achieve your goal—and how you will acquire them.
Fourth, determine the obstacles and difficulties you will have to overcome to reach your goal, and organise them in order of size and importance.
Fifth, determine the people, groups, and organisations whose help you will require, and decide what you will have to do for them to earn their assistance.
Sixth, make a detailed plan, broken down by activity and organised by priority and sequence. What is most important? What must be done first? What must be done before something else is done?
Seventh, seize the day and take action on your plan immediately. Do something every day to move toward your goal. Get going and keep going. Just do it.
S OF LOVE & BIG WARM SEXY HUGS FROM MUMMY CHASEY IN HER HAIRNET & BATTY STOCKING SOCKS» xxx I THANK YOU FOR READING & LEAVE YOU WITH OUR EXIT SONG TONIGHT XXXX X X X !!! 2024.. incoming!x
