Dream Like A Mouse.
🤍Regrets & Writing 🎧 Why Did You Do It? by Stretch!🤍
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Dear Chasers💗
I woke up the morning after posting my previous newsletter issue called Writing At Night and the thought on my mind was “Oh No.. What did I do last night!” a whoosh of regret flooded through my head like the emotional side of a hangover after drinking the night before. As you know, I wasn’t drunk at all. I fell into a deep sleep at 2:00 am that night feeling quite accomplished. Oh, how the joke was on me. Ignorance is Bliss they say. Foolish.
I dreamt of mixing music on the computer (everything manipulated in soundwaves), organising a large bookshelf (a complexity that I couldn’t get my head around and so repetitively kept ending up with the same pile of books to stack), making Youtube videos (I have never and probably will never be a Youtuber making videos!) and then my mind took me back here (in my dream) to writing on Substack. That must be how I had it on my mind as I awoke.
I dream like a mouse. That famous test comes to mind where the mice are trained to go through a maze to reach the end goal being food or some reward. The scientists monitor the brainwaves of the mice who have been in the maze and the random patterns of the maze’s coordinates repeat over and over. The next day they go in the maze they get through it quicker and reach the reward with ease. If only my writing could work out like that. If only my brain would help me improve my skill and technique.
I think my ‘dreaming like a mouse’ might helped me when I was first discovering how to blend music and make mixes (mixtapes) using at first audio merging software online and then mixer apps like Traktor and Cross DJ Pro (my preferred choice now). I like to imagine my brain is processing my recurrent daily patterns.
So, (and if I say so any more times at the beginning or during my conversations in written form, I will fucking scream!). So, arrrrrrghh. I apologise in advance. It’s a pet peeve that I seem to notice every time I over use the words ‘so’ and ‘but’. I was so tempted to say but here. As I was saying, I woke up with my stomach turning.
“What Did You Do To Me” I kept saying to myself. I can’t believe I wrote all about my ‘obsessions’ and ‘sex(less) life’ and for the first time in my protective bubble of a brain - I worried about other people’s opinions of me. I kept on kicking myself mentally beating myself up and cringing. “I’m never going to get this right!” All I want to put out there is creative non-fiction.
That was all before coffee. After that I had a change of perspective. I came to the conclusion that my writing journey has to start somewhere. It’s like falling of a bike. I just need to get back on the saddle and dive right in again (probably making the same mistakes) hopefully getting better each cycle round.
I am trying to help myself improve. I even mentioned in my The Daily Chase! newsletter, about these library books that I am working my way through. CLICK THE IMAGE below for more details on this little pile of self help writing books on my sinister desk!
I am going to leave you with tonight’s EXIT SONG:
This was just a little check in with me jumping back on the bike - still a little wounded but looking down the road towards the end goal. Thank you so much for being part of this with me and you my Chasers are the kind hand that gives me the gentle push once the stabilisers have been removed my my ‘writing bike’. xxx <3
