Soundtrack Of Your Life - music writing prompt 06.11.23
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Dear Chasers!
I am going through some emotional shit at the minute and needed a little distraction. I found this prompt picture ‘Soundtrack of your Life’gave me pause for thought. It took my mind of the present happenings and I decided to roll with it. The reason I am sharing it here with you is because you might also find it ‘distracting’ if needed, ‘comforting’ if required, ‘entertaining’ of course! or just as a little inspiration to get your mind thinking of something better.
The basic guidelines for what I made myself do:
Go as far back in your life as you wish to and dig out songs that stick with you. Make a list of all the songs you remember hearing that remind you of a certain moment of time. Just make the list with songs and a note of the memory. *TIP: even if you hate the song choice now, still list it if the memory attached is significant, because this prevents selective thinking.
Then what I did was go to YouTube and find each song. Grab the link to the video, watch the video and move along to the next. Do that with all the videos. I found that by doing this task it wasn’t tedious as I first thought it might be. It was helpful and encouraging and a little bit of fun dancing too!
NOW the hardest part was that I told myself to write very briefly the memories attached to the song and how it makes me feel now. Include anything else that comes to mind.
Finally, if you’re anything like me your list would fill the pages of war & peace if you sat and thought about EVERYTHING for a fair bit of time. I got tired of my timeline for that day. Decided I would keep going back to this document and going through the process again and again whenever a welcoming, playful distraction from EVERYTHING else is required.
…………………………………… GOOD LUCK! xx
6 Songs from my ‘Tracklist Timeline of Memories’
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My Tracklist Timeline Memories- from age 5 to approx. age 16
IN DREAMS - ROY ORBISON
The song was on the mixtape when I was around five years old I think. My memory doesn’t serve anyone else well - only me, in that it makes me forget things that I don’t need. I used to listen to this song among others on a FisherPrice machine designed to play cassette tapes - all this was instead of a bedtime story. It always had a good way of getting me to sleep. Now thought there’s a line in this song that makes my skin creep. “Tiptoed to my room every night” I guess that’s a topic too deep to speak about here. I don’t want to either. I was offered CBT 30 years later. Too late. I thought it was going to give me the answers. Explain my behaviours and teach me how they are wrong and what could be going on with me and how to correct it. I thought wrong. The psychiatrist called it “talking therapy” but I had nothing else to say that wasn’t said in court. They had my full report on the table. All details are in there. She sat and stared at me. She may have said two words. No questions. No enquiries. Nothing. I left.
THE WHOLE OF THE MOON _ THE WATERBOYS
I remember listening to this either on the radio or that mixtape from the previous song one day in my childhood bedroom when I was grounded and right through until the nighttime I was looking out of the window at the moon and planning my ‘great escape’ haha! I know it’s not much of an interesting or relative memory at all but like I said above in my letter - I wanted to document songs that stick out as a pinpoint on a map.. a musical map now matter how irrelevant or uninteresting this is to you or me. I like how it could be the reason that whenever I hear this song played in an old man’s pub or even by accident on a advertisement on the TV - my eye light up and I can howl every single word out of tune in the most energetic and passionate way which even I can’t explain!
SEARCHING FOR MY RIZLA - RATPACK
This was one where I sneaked some cigarettes out of my Nana’s packed -I’d actually hidden them in that FisherPrice cassetter player’s battery compartment - to roll my own spliff for the first time ever. I didn’t own a rolling mat like the other kids and I’d never made one in my life. I was so proud that I managed to make a semi-smokable something at the end after loads of relentless attempts and failures. I sat in the corner of my room and it up and when the Kiss FM played (or some other radio station of the time) in the late 80’s- early 90’s I guess) played this I thought it was the best high ever. I was absolutely effin’ BUZZING!! Sad state of affairs for a girl of 10 or 11 years of age. If only we’d had better things to do in those days like t’Internet or social media a better way to find a place to make our soul’s shine - and probably still getting high.. but that’s by the by. ;-)
FIRESTARTER - THE PRODIGY
Two firsts for me with this track. I was a quiet, shy, calm child. Never really energetic or boisterous. I hardly remember doing much in terms of movement. (Probably because I was always stoned!). I hated participating in my after school dancing class. I used to only want to go there so I could see some people. Peers. I was living as an only child and got bored with just the company of old people, my grandparents were lovely though. I was in my childhood bedroom - as always- and I had been given for my birthday a new and improved stereo. It looked something like a black and red portable radio. My dad called it my new ‘boombox’ it didn’t play CD’s though. We weren’t there yet. One night after school I sat tuning in my radio and this song came on all crackly at first. I sorted out the long metal rod of an aerial and away we went. I felt the rush of music and beats and emotion hit me fucking hard in the gut and my head was spinning. I jumped up dancing (mostly jumping up and down! LOL) rocking out in my little school uniform. The first time I really FELT felt music like that. Energy. Like a drug and the second first was that after this happened. I went to HMV one day after school and hunted out this track. I even started switching the channels on TV so I could see this being played, Anyway, I saw Keith Flint (1969-2019) and fuck me duuuude…. I FELL ARSE-OVER-TIT HEAD-N-HEELS INTO THE VERY THICK OF IT IN ABSOLUTE WHOOOOP.. WHOOP ..OOFT.. LOVE <3 xxx
UB40 - The Way You Do The Things You Do
Just a quick memory of being sat a tiny dining table in one of my mum’s bedsits, I was aged about 10 or 11 or thereabouts. She was cooking me some tinned spaghetti on toast. This song playing on the radio while I witter away talking all about my day as mum smoking a joint over my shoulder. Setting my hands downs to tell me to stop tapping my knife and fork on the table. She was crying and I couldn’t understand why. I mean it was only burnt toast. I love burnt toast (even to this day) but she was almost hysterical. Somehow, I knew it had nothing to do with the burning bread. The tears were in her eyes long before that happened. I sensed it had something to do with this song, her black eye and missing tooth. Mum was and is a very strong woman (just not when she was stoned). Soon, she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and placed a plate of what looked like baby vomit in front of me. I didn’t dare ask why it looked that way. I’d never had tin spaghetti like that! It was the most gorgeously amazing meal I’d ever tasted in my little life.. she had grated possibly an ENTIRE block of cheese into it… ! Cheesy spaghetti on burnt toast.. Booom! Delicious.
Bon Jovi - Always
I used to sing into the hairbrush in front of my best friend Jess and my mum when we were young. I sang it to her one night while she was getting drunk on cider and everything was great. Until her friend told her he had to go home early and left her drunk with 12 year old me and my friend. Mum threw an ornament near my head into the wall and went wild. She picked up the pieces of broken dogs and slit her leg open from ankle to knee. Then refused to go to the hospital so we had to patch it up for her with ripped clothes. We did a fairly good job, under her instruction, for two terrified young girls. I never sang into the hairbrush again after that! We all laughed the next time we heard it play somewhere. “Turn it off Chase will start singing and make it rain!” - I replied once, “yeah, that or make my mum try and kill herself again ha ha h_!” What!!? Too soon? My mum’s scar was huge. I tried to write my scars off with laughter. She did go and get proper stitches to it eventually a few days after it happened. It didn’t stop her cutting herself. Mainly her arms. In fact she felt more at ease now not to try hiding it from me anymore. I hated her for hurting herself, it hurt me more. I loved her and love her still. Always.
I think I’ll leave it here and continue with more songs and memories at a later date. I used to think that writing was good therapy for me. Then today I heard that the process of writing is NOT the therapy… the therapy is in the alchemy.
I didn’t truely understand it although I worked out that its in the transformation from personal expression into ART. So, that has put me off writing too much. I am not ready to create ART here. All I want to do is talk.
BIG warm HUGS love,
